I decided I really want to place a preorder for the RIOBOT Tsugumori, which initiated a review on my part of Nihei manga. As usual I got stuck on my favorite ending ever (possibly of any media), the ending of Abara. My header is one page from that ending, and now I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve always liked Nihei’s views of the world, I agree entirely with him. I’m so fucking crazy right now I can’t think of anything but that ending, and how it applies to my mood.

I wish my death was so insignificant it could be shown as a simple white dot on a black page, but that dot is the end of an entire world. It’d be the end of my world, and it would effect everyone in my world. In 100 years, my death would be a dot. It’d be a distant memory, an obituary listing in an old paper stored in the library, or more likely stored on a massive server.

So if I cared more about myself, or had more faith in mental healthcare in Florida, I wouldn’t be considering Tsugumori over a doctor’s visit. I’m not sure if I’m fucking retarded, fucking crazy, or if the mental healthcare available here is so bad I’d rather have a plastic figure than a stable mood.

But honestly, I think I’ll be happier with Tsugumori than a pill.